I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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