She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Boobs speak an international language.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
