we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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