Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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