I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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