WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
