So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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