I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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