I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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