the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
