i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
