My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
