Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
