i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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