We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Randomize
