Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
