We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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