absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
