haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
