It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
