is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
It's blow job season.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
did you just send me my own nude
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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