Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
