I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
My cat gives me a boner
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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