my room smells like sperm. sweet.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
