My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
