I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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