She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
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Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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