dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
