You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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