You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
