i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize