ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
