If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
