That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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