Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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