I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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