At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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