so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
