Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
