Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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