chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
