Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
