I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
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I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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