Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
