My nipple is on Facebook.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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