ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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