Just fell off a train. Bad.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
