O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
