thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
