There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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