She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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