one two three fourrrrnication!
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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