Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
