If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
