I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
