So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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