maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
