if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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