I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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