Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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