The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
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