Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
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I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
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Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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